IUI #2 = fail

Of course, as soon as I start to think it may have actually worked, my period started. Like, really? What cosmic joke is that -- as soon as I start to have a little bit of hope, bam! Nope! Sorry.

I had a little bit of a meltdown earlier this week. I am feeling frustrated and defeated. I know it's only the second successful IUI (3rd round of Clomid), but how much is it going to take? I think I was feeling particularly defeated because I heard such positive feedback from the ultrasound tech and the nurse who did the procedure -- my egg was a great size, lining looked good, Joe's numbers looked good. Much better than last month. So I let myself have a little bit of hope, although I was still shielding myself against the disappointment. It's hard to do this over and over again -- it truly is a rollercoaster. My anxiety gets involved too. If Clomid doesn't work, that's one more thing that was unsuccessful, so we would move on to the next step. Which means we have fewer and fewer options left.

I do realize that we are hardly out of options at this point, but I don't want to have to go through more and more. I just want something to work. I have accepted the infertility, but on a daily basis it sucks.

So, the next step is to try another round of Clomid, which will hopefully result in at least one good follicle on the right side, and a 3rd IUI. If that doesn't work (or if the follicles are on the left), then we meet with Dr. Bernhisel and see what's next.